The Special Joys of Threesome Sex Tips for Men Who Want To Get Started

By Joan...

| PAGE 2 | PAGE 1 | THREESOME SEX TIPS FOR WOMEN |



The following information has been prepared for men who wish to consider adding male - female - male (MFM) sexual pleasures to their sensual life. It is the basic premise of this piece that the reader has already decided to open himself to the pursuit of threesome adventures. I sincerely hope these thoughts will benefit you as you plan ways of bringing about one or more  MFM threesome experiences for your pleasure... and for the pleasure of the woman in your life.

By the way, it is not my desire to "win converts" to my chosen lifestyle. Rather, it is my hope that readers will open their minds and relationships to the special pleasures and possibilities that threesomes provide.

First: I suggest that you let your primary female partner know that you are open to or wish to pursue the addition of one or more people to your shared "recreational sex" experiences. Start having conversations about the distinction between sex for love - sex for recreation and sex for procreation. Let her see X-rated videos or read books or magazines which spotlight the pleasures of multiple-partner recreational sex.

I know that initially that could send shock waves through some wives or girl friends. But, be open and honest with your feelings. Let her know the kind of fantasies that stimulate you (her and another gal focusing on your pleasure, another guy and you focusing on her pleasure, you giving simultaneous pleasure to her and another gal, you alone with another gal, her alone with another guy, you and her with more than one other person, etc.).

Chances are she will not quickly jump at the idea of inviting others into your sex life. Most women equate great sexual fulfillment and the warmth of sexual sharing with emotions akin to love. That is why MOST women never allow themselves to enjoy more than one man at a time and miss out on the wonderful expansive possibilities of enhanced, multiplied pleasures. Most women who do allow themselves to try a few threesomes find that their sex lives are greatly improved and that their personal levels of sexual fulfillment is GREATLY elevated!

I went through those typical female emotions in the early years of my sexual development and particularly in the earliest experiences of enjoying more than one male partner during the same time period (even when it was not involving group sex). You men seem less likely to experience those sex=love feelings. Percentage wise, more men than women tend to be able to enjoy sex for itself and keep the pleasure of those experiences separate from their emotional relationships.

 

Casual sex partner
No Commitment Sex partner Needed 

This article assumes that you have a wife or woman in your life. Naturally, you could choose to go outside your primary relationship to experience MFM, FMF, or group pleasures. Frankly, many of the men who I have enjoyed along with my two guys have been married guys who were enjoying threesome sex even though the primary woman in their life was not willing to get involved in threesomes. However, until later in this piece, I am focusing on efforts you can make to keep your sexual pleasures something you SHARE with your spouse or girl friend.

You and your main lady may have never even discussed opening your sex life to the inclusion of others. Probably, it will be you who initiates the idea. In that case, you need to open her mind to such ideas GENTLY! Share in watching X-rated movies which include scenes which reflect what is on your mind. Share in reading Forum or other magazines which feature stories which reflect what is on your mind. When you see such films or read such stories, let her know that they turn you on and watch her reactions.

Ask her what she thinks of such "recreational sex" experiences. Ask her if she would like to experience the feeling of another guy's cock inside her while you cuddle, kiss and caress her. While you are in the heat of passion, ask her how she would like to feel another guy tonguing and kissing her clit and pussy while you hold and kiss her. When she is nearing her orgasm, ask her how she would like to have both of her breasts sucked simultaneously one by you, and one by another guy.

Be patient. Let these thoughts soak in over as along a period of time as is needed. The rest of this article assumes you have successfully persuaded her to "try" a threesome or some couple-swap situation, etc. This is when you need to show her your highest level of love and affection. Try to extract a promise that "try" means at least a few such experiences, just in case the first one or two are less than satisfactory.

Once you have gained her agreement to try such extra-partner-sex situations you need to watch her responses in the days ahead. Is she really enthusiastic about the new possibilities ahead or is she now reflecting some second thoughts or potential jealousy or fear of jealousy by you.

You may want to talk further about how you will both deal with any potential jealousy that may surface further down the line. You may also wish to make it clear how each of you will communicate with the other about limitations either of you want to impose on your expanded sex life as things develop.

Second: You will want to ALWAYS KEEP IN MIND that the anticipated new experiences you are about to have should be SHARED experiences. Shared between you and your wife, or you and the primary woman in your life.

Early on, you will want to determine which of you will identify the potential additional person or people you will invite into your sex life. Will SHE bring the extra person or people into your shared bed, or will YOU be the one to identify that person and create the setting to bring that person into your shared sex life.

Maybe you will want to SHARE in creating a "prospect list" or in determining a method of identifying a prospective extra person (or persons), or characteristics desired in that extra person (tall, short, younger, older, married, single, certain physical characteristics, local, non-local, friend, stranger, etc.). She may ask you who you think you would enjoy inviting to join in your expanded sex life. You may even want to start with some couple-couple action first, so you can both gain a higher level of comfort in the earliest experiences. Also you can make some initial contacts with others who have opened their sex lives.

From my experience as a woman, a large part of the fun of MFM and FMF threesomes is the anticipation, the planning, the fantasizing about it in advance with your primary partner. I know women who have not actually experienced their first threesome until LONG after having decided that they would do it, enjoying with their mates the prolonged anticipation and knowledge that "one day" it would actually happen. However, remember that you can fantasize too much. Either or both of you can build expectations too high.

Sometimes it is necessary to postpone that actual first experience due to need for privacy, discretion and anonymity. It may require that you place ads or follow-up ads or that you travel to another city. It may require the acquisition of a discrete PO box or private voice mail subscription. It may require the both of you or you or her alone doing some initial "interviews," to enhance your shared "comfort level" with a prospective new guy or gal.

 

 

Even if you choose someone who is a close friend of one or both of you, it may take some time setting up the right situation (a shared date, a special dinner, an over-night stay together someplace, etc.) where things can warm up properly.

Third: Think about whether you seek ONE-TIME, TEMPORARY or LONG-TERM additional partners? I know that the permanent three-way partnership that my two guys and I live in is rather unique. Few others will even want to establish a long-term three-way relationship. Two-way "primary" partnerships with an occasional third person joining in just for the fun of it, that is the more typical threesome scene.

However, I know a number of couples who have opened themselves to an extra guy or gal in their sex life ONLY on the premise that the extra person is also a friend or relative of one or both of them. I know women who have invited their sisters or college roommates into on-going threesome pleasures with their husbands or boyfriends and women who have welcomed on-going threesome relationships when the extra guy was a friend or brother of their husband or primary male friend. Some couples have restricted their threesome ventures to one, two or three such friends or relatives and would not consider inviting a "stranger" into their bed.

When a close friend or relative is chosen and it works out, such relationships can often continue for years. As a matter of fact, they usually continue indefinitely, unless one of the parties proves to be a jerk, or unless circumstances change for one or more of the parties.

Other times, women absolutely refuse to consider inviting into their beds anyone who either she or her guy know or are related to. Everyone is different. Everyone has different circumstances

When a stranger is chosen, it can be a "one-night affair," or it could turn into an oft repeated pleasure for all. Sometimes couples start by intending things to be temporary or one-time events only to find that they have developed a new kind of friendship that they all wish to periodically repeat over a long-term period.

GETTING STARTED:

Once a couple has decided to open themselves to the addition of one or more occasional "playmates," there are a couple of basic things that must happen.

1. I have mentioned it above, but you MUST deal with "the jealousy factor" before it comes up. If either party believes they would be jealous if they saw the other having sex with someone else, get it out in the open immediately. In this event, you will both want to establish a pact that (a) you will be totally open with each other along the way, (b) you will only have sex with another partner while the potentially-jealous partner is present (or only after the potentially-jealous partner knows and agrees), and (c) UNTIL YOU MUTUALLY DECIDE OTHERWISE, the extra guy will be for the purpose of joining you in focusing doubled-attention on the wife or, the extra gal will ONLY be for the purpose of joining the wife in focusing doubled-attention on the husband. The person who's receiving the doubled-attention will focus their attention PRIMARILY on their spouse. Example, while the extra guy is nibbling on her pussy or filling it with his cock, her husband is cuddling with her and necking with her while she talks with him, telling him what it feels like to be in his arms while another guy is stroking in and out of her, etc.

 

 

2. Remember to jointly decide on any LIMITATIONS you mutually agree to impose on your proposed threesome. For example, she insists that the other guy wear a condom or NOT enter her anally. Or, he insists that the other guy NOT come in her pussy or mouth. Or, you mutually decide that extra partners NOT be given your real names and NOT be invited to your home. Maybe you won't have any such limitations, but if either partner has strong feelings on any of these subjects, set the RULES up front so you can share them (as it may be appropriate) with the third person.

3. Decide on THE WAY TO MEET a third person to join you in a threesome. By now you have probably agreed that you want to focus on inviting a friend or acquaintance to join you or you may have decided that you DO NOT WANT to involve someone you already know.

In that case, you may want to (a) attend a Swing Party for the purpose of meeting prospective threesome friends, or (b) patronize an Adult Store or Adult Movie House for the purpose of making potential contacts (this works often couples are able to make eye contact with a guy [less often with a gal] or a couple in an Adult Bookstore or XXX Movie Theater, motion them to the door of the Bookstore or to their seat within the theater and openly let their wishes be known without fear of rejection and often with successful results), or (c) patronize a Topless Bar (this also works and can be a way to meet that extra gal), or (D) follow-up ads or place ads in local or national contact publications and/or Internet.

This last one is a very good way to meet people, but you probably will need to have a email address,  PO box and/or an anonymous voice mail service (attached to a pager is even better). This will allow one or both of you to meet the prospective third person and get to know them while remaining anonymous.

Lets say hubby is meeting a prospective guy. The meeting could be at a bar or lounge. Wife could go in first, and sit at another table so she can watch while hubby "interviews" the prospective guy. They can have a pre-arranged signal (like wife dropping her hankie on the floor) as a signal that "he looks good," or "No Way." Then the wife can join them or not as she wishes. Or, he can excuse himself to the rest room so he can meet her in the back alone before she joins them or before he says, "We'll call you."

BE AWARE: If the guy or gal has never been involved in a threesome before, you probably DON'T want to select him/her as one of your first extras.

4. Have a plan as to WHERE you would prefer meeting this third person for your first encounter. At your place? Generally not a good idea. Motels are good. Motels that offer hot tubs are even better (as a way to cut the ice). Adult motels are often the best. If the third person is a gal, you can probably be a bit more flexible in where you first meet.

5. Now that you have the basic decisions out of the way, now is the time to plan your wearing apparel to fit the occasion. If you will be meeting at a beach, pool or hot tub you should both consider some minimal, sexy swim wear. If you will be meeting at a bar, she should dress as sexy as possible (short skirt, semi-revealing blouse with no bra, etc.) and if you are meeting a gal, you should dress sharp to look handsome. If you will be going to an X-rated movie in the hopes of meeting a guy, she should wear a loose, easy-opening blouse with no bra, and a very full skirt with no panties so that within the dark of the theatre she can choose to retain a discrete appearance, or allow you to have access to her breasts and crotch as the situation unfolds.

6. Make plans to DO IT SOON! Remember, you can fantasize too much. Either or both of you can build expectations too high. Remember also that the sex you have between the two of you IS LIKELY to be better than sex with THE FIRST FEW extra people, just because you know each other better, and there is less chance of anxiety getting in the way. You may get a guy who "gets off" and wants to leave without really GIVING pleasure to your wife. That can be the pits! Or, you may get a gal who "freezes up" just as the fun begins. It may take a few threesome experiences before you locate extra partners who truly melt into your shared love-making wishes.

7. Assuming the threesome went EVEN MODERATELY WELL you should both genuinely thank the third person, and embrace them before they leave. You may want to try it again with this person. They should leave with a feeling of "warm fuzzies."

8. Finally, after each threesome experience, the two of you MUST spend some time re-living the experience with each other - what it felt like - how you would each like it to be different or similar next time. How you each appreciate and love the other for helping to make the threesome possible. Be sure to give your wife or girl friend extra tender loving after your threesome experiences. You might even want to EACH write down your thoughts on each of those early threesome experiences and share them with someone (like me), just so you can express yourself fully and so you can remember later how those initial experiences went.

SOME IDEAS FOR GETTING THE ACTION GOING:
 

When you have identified a prospective third party and the situation allows, let the opposite sex dance with that third party, invite them to join you for a dip in a hot tub someplace, invite them to join you in providing a full body massage to one of the three of you.

If your chosen "prospect" is a friend or relative, consider creating a setting at your home, motel, beach resort or a ski lodge where you all have minimal clothes or where you can all recline on a blanket in front of a roaring fire. Then one of you can start massaging the other while inviting the third person to assist.

There are lots of ways to "break the ice." Removal of clothes or intimate kisses or blind-folded caresses or performing certain requested sexual acts. Requests for "Truth" can open the way for asking intimate questions about sexual preferences, past sexual experiences, and determining the other person's wishes for exploring sex together NOW.

When the extra person is a guy, you can always note how your wife or girl friend really loves to receive a massage particularly a four-handed, full-body massage. Seldom will the extra guy turn down that offer. Naturally, if oil is involved, everyone will have to shed their clothes so they don't get oil on their clothes.

NEED MORE IDEAS?

Or are you a single guy? Check out the next page or  visit the Swingers GUIDE. You will find there a lot of dating and lifestyle related information.

Ask Elisha! Who Is Elisha?

You see that banner at next. That would be Elisha! Her porn star name is Jana Cova but but her real name is Elisha Keys. She have been employed by this excellent site since 1998 to answer any sex related questions you gentlemen have. You can find some pictures of her over in the model area. She have lived in America all her life and being single and sexually active. She certainly know what she is talking about when it comes to sex.

I hope she will provide very liberal but useful answers to your questions, every question that as not already been answered will be answered. Get those questions coming in! Click here and ask Elisha!

 


Let Me Answer All Your Sexual Related Questions!


| PAGE 2 | PAGE 1 | THREESOME SEX TIPS FOR WOMEN |